To my Auden

Dear Baby Girl,

You're eight and a half months old now and have been sleeping through the night for quite some time.  But some times, ever so often, you'll let out a cry in the middle of the night.  Usually, it only lasts a bit before you soothe yourself and roll over and go back to sleep.  But some times you won't stop until someone comes to see you.  I secretly love those times.  Those times remind me that you still need me. Those times bring me back to the first weeks of your life when you still needed to eat often...when were you still my tiny girl.  In those moments, in the quiet of your dark room, I hold you close and whisper to you how much I love you, how lucky I am to call you mine.  In those moments I thank God for this gift; this immeasurable gift.  In those moments, I just want time to stand still.

I'm staring at the monitor now and watching you sleep peacefully, wondering of what your dreams are made.  I have big dreams for you myself and pray continuously that I will get to walk alongside you to experience them.  You bring me so much joy, my sweet Auden.  In your waking moments and in your restful sleep.  When you're laughing uncontrollably.  When you make your grandpa face.  When I look and see you in my rearview mirror.  When you hit a new milestone.  When you stop what you're doing to look up at me and grin.

I find it hard to believe that my love for you could possibly grow any more.  But as I wipe away the tears rolling down my face, I know that my heart will continue to fill up... so much so that it may burst.  And it's all because of you.  

So sleep sweetly baby girl.  And remember if you need me, I'm always here.

{Photo by Jordan Burch Photography}